check it out our google latitudes are spooning
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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