Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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