rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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