I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
