Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
