Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do herpes really smell.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
