wat bout pragnant strippers??
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
