told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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