Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
