I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
