When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
