is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
