So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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