come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
