I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
