you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
PANTIES FOUND
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
