She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
