I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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