Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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