We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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