A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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