I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
