Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
