i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
