so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
