Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
