Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
