My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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