Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
