I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
