what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
