I heard we made out
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
