I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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