It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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