Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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