Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
