i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
