I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
