i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
