We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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