i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
