Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
