Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
