there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
