why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
