Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
