I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it glows. i had to have it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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