How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
