Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
