Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize