its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
