You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
