wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
