Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
