He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's official drugs can't kill me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
